Whod you bang
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
