you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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