Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
