i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
