Who did Billy Mays play for?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
