Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
