I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
