I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
