nut hugger
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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