when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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