The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
