you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
