too bad you live with your parents still
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Still dying that you shit outside
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
