she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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