I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
