I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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