woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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