it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
how drunk are you?
Several
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
