I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize