no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
