My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
