I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
