Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
