Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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