Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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