69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
