I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Soap is not a condiment
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
