ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
