ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize