My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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