If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
