he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
