She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
