Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
