i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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