it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
