dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
