1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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