i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
