"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
