I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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