I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
