I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
