A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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