I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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