3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
