you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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