So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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