Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
