Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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