its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
