So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
