We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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