She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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