would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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