Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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