i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize