I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
