I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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