nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
