no, he came in my armpit
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
