Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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