sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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