Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
