There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
