Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My balls are so social today.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
