let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
