All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You ruined the universe
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
