i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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